Frozen (December 2010)

I look around as i sit on my chair - Scattered sheets of Paper, a to-do list longer than my cigarette bills, clothes of the previous week soiling the dirty carpet and an empty wine bottle now lying idle......

 My room is yellow. Its not the orangish-yellow, its the yellowish-yellow. The colour that makes me feel cold instead of warm. Outside, freezing people step on fallen leaves and frozen water. But when i leave my room and enter this blue and white world - I'm consumed by the desires to burn, to burn in the midst of these woods of ice - light up - fiery, red. Wasting time, waiting for frozen nature - its bushes, leaves, thorns to burn me, kill me.

 He was here, in this yellowish-yellow room when the sun hid away. Hours liked us not and flew past us, day after day. We gave into sleep once in a while, its was when the world sat on our eyelids. Sometimes we talked, sometimes we kissed but most of the times we felt, i think we felt love. Or did we ? That week ended yesterday and i didn't need to wait any more....something was lit in me, I could feel it. It was all I thought it would be - fiery, red and much more.